Hoarders: Buried Alive

Eva’s moving in soon, but she’s moving most of her stuff in even sooner. Like this weekend soon. Like, tomorrow soon.

In preparation for her arrival, I wanted to clean the place up a bit. You know, swiffer the floors. Some light dusting here and there. Oh yeah, and this:

This was the state of Eva’s room. I know, it legitimately looks like something off one of those many hoarding shows on TV these days. Seriously, there are so many. Kind of like shows about little people. Listen up TLC: Little People, Big Mess. You’re welcome.

Allow me to explain before you click “unsubscribe” on your readers in disgust and curse the day you ever made the mistake of wandering over here. It started off as a good place to put tools and paints and other things that didn’t really have a place. Little by little, other shit just kind of crept in, like extra shelving units left over from the dorms. Buy a new TV and not sure you’re going to keep it? Just put the box in the storage room! Find a dresser on the street with a friend who could really use it for their own apartment in the fall but has nowhere to store it in the meantime? We have space! And on and on. You know how it goes. Well, I do anyway.

In case you’re wondering, when guests came to stay I stuck them in a corner of the living room. My junk needed its space.

Luckily, most of this really was boxes and other things that easily found their new home out in the garbage/recycling. The other stuff got absorbed into the living room, where it’s waiting for a combination of donation, trash, and Craigslist. I’ve never been more stoked for trash night.

But check it! Clean and ready:

Now the organizational challenge that is this small apartment housing two people with one tiny closet really kicks in. Gulp.


16 Comments

  1. You’ve always been the BEST cleaner-upper ever!

  2. i find your writing absolutely hilarious and even funnier is your Mom’s post on this entry…keep on blogging i check your site every day looking for more…

  3. Oh god, I hate when I wind up with a hoarding room. I always know it’s going to screw me in the end, but I do it anyway. Have you seen these photos?

    I now have a hoarding basement, which is even worse, because it’s so easy to avoid. OVERWHELMING.

    • I do remember those photos, although I gotta say if my hoarding room looked like that, I’d just don a cape and perch myself on something and admire all my treasures in solitude. If it all becomes too much, don’t be shy about unloading one of those extra shell chairs, I could probably find a good home (mustard yellow upholstery pleaseandthankyou). :-)

  4. I have a hoarding room too. That’s why on my recent house tour update, neither of the bedrooms were included. Looks like you whipped yourself into shape though!

  5. Hoarders is an absolutely amazing show. Did you see the episode when they found the dead cats- yes that was cats- as in MULTIPLE dead cats that looked like the flat packing boxes you get from IKEA. A-Mazing. Sick but amazing.

    • Oh, you mean every episode? So, so sad and terrifying but also like a science experiment, I guess. I’m always more intrigued by the food in their freezers.

  6. glad you’re excited :/ (i was expecting OMIGOD EVA’S COMING THANKEWE!)

    • Don’t you start with me, you know I’m excited (on the inside). Although living with your things won’t be quite as exciting as living with you… I can’t talk to the wok pan. Well, it won’t talk back anyway.

  7. So, the Junk Drawer has evolved to the Hoarder’s Room. I have one too.

  8. My son just moved out to start his first semester at LSU. I now have one of those rooms to clean up myself. I must say it’s exciting (the part about decorating, colors, new bed, comforter, and husband and I have a lot of free time ) And oh so sad (the part about my son is gone, I’m feeling old, and husband and I have a lot of free time ) So anyhoot, I found a lovely room to copy from copycatchic.com. to keep my sadness from surfacing too often. ( And of course the part about how I know how lucky my son is to be able to go to college helps me through it as well. )Glad your roomy will soon be back home!

  9. i have the key to the empty apartment next door and have taken the liberty of borrowing it while renovating my own place. most of my things are there and i have been using the bathroom for a week. it is totally crazy. oh, did i mention i live in manhattan and nobody has been living next to me or below me – for months – you do not even want to know the story of this building.

  10. Oh geez, don’t even get me started on hoarding rooms. Our house is a 4/2 and I’ve only shown three of the bedrooms on our blog for a reason (part of which being that it has two dog kennels in it).

  11. Oh it’s good to know that you aren’t completely fabulous.

    But this is hardly gulp-worthy, much less hoarding.

  12. my hoarding room is currently my garage, which is also our bike storage, the mr’s slew of outdoor equipment, my craft area and holiday clutter area. eeek. we recently rearranged everything to make it more manageable to be in there and then I quickly filled it up with a chrome Thonet knockoff, 2 heywood wakefield chairs and a MCM dresser I found on the street. Its a really bad habit…

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